But I don’t think that has to be the case.

I think whether you’re a famous musician or a manager at work with three direct reports, you can stay grounded. And one of the best ways to do that is to simply listen to your husband or wife.

That’s not revolutionary advice, but you’d be surprised how easy it is to forget that. Pride and ego are sneaky. Attitude and arrogance often ride unseen on the coattails of accomplishment. And before you know it, you start to believe your own press. Humility gets pushed right out of the picture. When you come home at night after a day of having people tell you that you’re incredible, you feel let down when your wife doesn’t mirror that same sentiment.

She wants you to take out the garbage. He wants you to help put the kids down to bed. And the temptation is to get grumpy and prideful and engage in some stinkin’ thinkin’.

Don’t.

In those moments when you’re wife or husband is treating you like the person they fell in love with and not the personality people on the outside might be trying to turn you into, embrace that. Clean the dishes. Be mom or dad or husband or wife. Stay grounded to your love, even as the forces of success try to sweep you away.

And they will. Success has a way of knocking over all of us at some point. But if you want to stand on both feet, if you want to remain strong in the face of anything from a job promotion to a magazine article about your career, listen to your husband or wife. I do with Rhonda, and whenever I get lost in the noise of the day or the thought that I am some sort of super leader who can do no wrong, she whispers in my ear.

“Don’t believe it Dan Cathy. Don’t believe it Dan Cathy. It’s time to take out the garbage.”

They don’t just happen. If they did, more people would reach their 50^th wedding anniversary, the divorce rates would be a lot lower and there’d be less heartbreak sung on the radio. But marriage isn’t easy.

There are countless books about growing your marriage and building communication and any host of other topics. Some of those books have important things to say, but today I just want to share one word that’s really helped revolutionize my marriage with Rhonda.

Friends.

Years ago, we started being deliberate about building close relationships with other married couples. It took time, but as we were vulnerable with other people, we were able to see the tremendous benefit that “doing life together” had on our marriage.

The hardest part was learning how to be real and honest. When you meet regularly with two or three other couples, it’s tempting to “put your best foot forward.” It’s easy to share the good stuff that happened the previous week and leave out any details that might not make you look like husband or wife of the year. But if you’re not real, then you can’t have real growth. If you’re not honest, then you can’t have honest change,

So Rhonda and I took the risk. We stepped out of our comfort zones and shared our lives with a few other couples. And when we did, we eventually started to see the tremendous gift of having some “marriage coaches.” For one thing, it teaches you to communicate better as you learn to talk about your issues out loud with other people. It helps you frame your words and attitude as you experience other people reacting to them. And perhaps most importantly, it prevents the sense of isolation and loneliness that can overtake a marriage when a couple refuses to share what’s really going on.

Who are you doing life with?  How are they challenging and encouraging you?

As a teenager, my opinion of the girl who would become the love of my life changed dramatically.

We’ve been married for 36 years. Our parents each celebrated 50-year anniversaries. God tuned my heart to spring to life when I hear her voice and yet, despite all of that, marriage isn’t easy, is it?

I wish I had all the answers, but the truth is, growing a strong, healthy marriage is one of the most challenging things I do every day. We work at it and work on it, but even with all our best intentions, there always seem to be gremlins that pop up and try to get in the way of marriages.

I’d like to talk about falling in love. I’d like to talk about staying in love and choosing love. I’d like to talk about what it means to be the husband or wife your spouse needs you to be. And I’d like to learn from you.

Because even though I was a fantastic cooties spotter when I was a kid, the adult version of me, still has a whole lot of growing up to do when it comes to love.