Although we’re used to the concept of big retail stores now, years ago, that wasn’t the case. Small stores, strip malls, mid-sized retail outlets, those are what dominated the shopping landscape for decades. But then Bernie Marcus and Sam Walton came along.

If you’re from Atlanta like me, you’re familiar with the name Bernie Marcus. Along with his partner Arthur Blank, he reshaped this city and the world of home improvement with the invention of The Home Depot. And Sam Walton? Is there another name more associated with retail success than Sam Walton? The founder of Wal-Mart, he virtually reinvented shopping as we know it.

But what a lot of people don’t know is that Sam and Bernie made a practice of listening to each other. Recognizing that few people could relate to the challenges and opportunities of growing such a large chain of stores, Bernie and Sam sought each other out. More than just big brand lore, Bernie told me countless stories of his visits with Sam. Every now and then, Sam would walk through a Wal-Mart with Bernie.

With the eye of an expert Sam would point out innovations and updates they had made to Wal-Mart. And Bernie would listen. He’d soak it all in to understand ways he might incorporate some of the same lessons at The Home Depot. Then, they’d flip the tables and Bernie would ask questions in Sam’s store. They would challenge assumptions. They’d look for new improvements. Above all they would listen.

Then they’d head to The Home Depot and the process would switch.

They didn’t have to do this. Each man was brilliant in their own way and could have run the company without this unique type of input. But what they gained from each other was invaluable. What they gained from listening was extraordinary. It was like an MBA in retailing. And the difference it made was immeasurable.

Which brings us back to the primary questions we ask about listening:
1. Who are you listening to?
2. Who is listening to you?

Better put, who is the Sam Walton in your life? Who is wise and generous and actively speaking into your day? Who are you being Bernie Marcus for? Whose life are you investing in with questions and encouragement? Whose stores are you walking?

Don’t let the size of the names in this story fool you. You don’t have to be a titan of industry to benefit from this powerful listening exercise.

That’s why I’m so excited about the “Too Busy Disorder” website.

Not familiar with this unique disease? Allow me to explain. Too Busy Disorder is perhaps the worst known example of what I call “Stinkin’ Thinkin.’” Put simply, it’s when you over work and under relax.

You start feeling stressed. Your eating habits increase or decrease at alarming rates. Your blood pressure goes up while your motivation goes down. Life gets flat and anxious and hard. Sound familiar?

Too Busy Disorder tends to sneak up on us. What starts as a good thing, hard work, mutates into a dominating thing. An occasional late night at the office turns into a habit. Everything is suddenly ASAP and you don’t have the “bandwidth” to handle it all.

Fortunately, those are the situations the WinShape Retreat is designed for. I’ve stayed there countless times over the years and I can’t think of a better place to relax and unwind. It truly is a “retreat” from the noisy world in every sense of the word.

To learn more about this fantastic retreat center, watch some hilarious videos or take a test to see if you’ve got Too Busy Disorder, visit www.toobusydisorder.com.

Do you or anyone you know suffer from TBD?

The Work Talker from TBD on Vimeo.

Because my father doesn’t stop.

I’ve been sharing this simple fact with people for decades. For years I’ve seen first hand what his dedication and drive and honesty have meant to both me and the greater Chick-fil-A family. So in a show that focuses on families that make excellence a family tradition, it made sense to include my father right alongside former Texas quarterback and current Cleveland Browns quarterback Colt McCoy and his father Brad, as well as Greg McElroy, current quarterback of Alabama, and his father Greg McElroy Sr.

Sure, my dad might not have taught me how to throw touchdown passes, but what he has shared with me has literally impacted the millions of lives that walk through the doors of Chick-fil-A every year.

My dad is the reason the chicken tastes the way it does. My dad is the reason employees believe being behind that counter is a platform of service. My dad is the reason we’ve got WinShape Camps. My dad is the reason that when people visit Chick-fil-A, they feel like they’re part of family, not just having a meal.

My dad’s thumbprint is on everything we do as a company, but more than that, I’ve personally benefitted from his legacy.

My wife and I treasure watching my parents grow a marriage that has long passed the 50-year mark. We feel honored to watch them pass the baton to future generations knowing someday we will too. We feel privileged to receive the wisdom and love they’ve given us all these years.

Because my father doesn’t stop.

As long as I’ve known him and listened to his words, I still find myself learning new things. From a deep well, born from a life lived well, my dad continues to draw truth and hope and kindness that impacts me and Chick-fil-A.

His faith, his heart, his drive. It might not make the top ten plays of the day, but it’s forever changed the way I live and that makes him an all star to me.

Instead of just doing the traditional giveaway which involves a coupon and a quick trip through the drive-thru, we tried something different:

We actually invited people to our restaurants.

We helped them make reservations for their free Spicy Chicken Sandwich. We gave them white glove service in a completely unexpected way. We reminded them that whether we’re rolling out new recipes or opening new stores, the lifeblood of Chick-fil-A are the fans. And the fans deserve special treatment.

Reservations took more work than coupons. They cost more time and were more complicated than doing a mass marketing coupon campaign. But for us, the chance to have friends over for a celebration, the opportunity to have people feel waited on and important, was simply too important to pass up.

We hope you got a chance to be our guest this last week. And if not, we hope you’ll be our guest real soon.

Rather than create a story or a metaphor, I’m going to tell you three ways I used continuous improvement a few weeks ago in regards to the Chick-fil-A Leadercast event. These are three tangible, honest-to-goodness ways that I approached that exciting experience with a bent toward incorporating continuous improvement.

The reason I did is simple, we want the event to be the best it possibly can. This was our first year being so heavily involved and I wanted to make the most of the experience. With that in mind, I did three things, the first of which I will tell you about today:

1. Look at the event or activity with multiple sets of expectations.
Anyone sitting in the crowd would have perhaps found what I was doing during the event a little strange. Instead of just jotting down a few notes here and there, I was scribbling furiously. Nothing escaped my attention as speaker upon speaker walked the stage at the Georgia World Congress Center.

I’ve long been a believer in the concept that things that get written down get remembered, but this set of notes was a little different. Instead of just one long list of observations, I broke my thoughts down into two categories. The first category was written from the perspective of an attendee. I wrote down ideas from Ben Carson. I wrote down words from former Colts coach Tony Dungy. I actively participated in the event as if I were not Dan Cathy.

The second category of notes was written through the lens of an event planner. I jotted down thoughts about our transitions between speakers. Was there enough music? Was there too much music? I wrote down ideas about the amount of videos we showed and how much I liked the guys in tuxedos and bright red shoes. I made observations about the crowd’s energy level and the length of the breaks. I took in everything I possibly could.

Why did I keep two sets of notes? Because otherwise, I’d only see part of the picture. The temptation is to just keep my “Dan Cathy Chick-fil-A” glasses on and miss what an attendee is really experiencing. On the other hand, if I only think about things as a participant, I’d miss the lessons that a Chick-fil-A employee could take away from the event.

Chances are, you’ve got a project or a meeting or an event coming up where you need to take notes. More than likely, you’ve got something in your company or home that could benefit from a little “continuous improvement.” In addition to checking out the countless resources about this subject that exist online, I encourage you to look at the opportunity from more than just one angle. I promise, you’ll be surprised by what you can see.

Coming Soon Part 2: Understand that immediate is immediately important.

But the truth is, for the majority of leaders, public speaking is a learned craft. It is a skill like any other that must be sharpened and strengthened and practiced regularly. There might be some people more naturally inclined to be great orators but like anything else, without hard work and intentional living, you’ll never be an expert.

The challenge then becomes simple: how do you get better? The reality is that on some level, we are all called to be public speakers. Whether you’re on stage in front of hundreds or answering a question in a meeting with five people, you have to be able to clearly and concisely deliver a message with impact.

There are hundreds of books on the subject but the approach that has helped me most over the years was something I learned from a teacher long ago. Simply put, he told me, “When you speak from the head you reach the head and when you speak from the heart, you reach the heart.”

That’s been my guiding principle all these years. From board meetings to conferences, that’s the idea I use to shape what I say. And one way it has manifested is in how I use my notes.

I prepare careful, well thought out notes for each speaking engagement I have. They are detailed and ready to bail me out if I get stuck, but they are not a script. If I read from them, if I stand up and simply recite the words on the page, I know I tend to follow my head in that moment, not my heart. And the crowd can sense that.

So instead, I try to speak from my heart. I try to stay away from my notes and even go off topic a little if that’s what is honest in that moment. What comes through is not a perfectly polished script read by a disconnected leader, but an honest speech.

There are lots of great speaking techniques and I encourage you to be a student. But if I could leave you with one thing today it would be this:

Aim for the heart and speak from your own.

Is it any wonder that sometimes our marriages seem to get stretched a little thin? I know that personally that is something I struggle with. Whether it’s work or friends or TV, there are so many distractions. And if we’re not careful we can end up having separate lives. Even two married people, sworn to be a team of one, can find themselves strangers if they’re not careful.

So what can we do? How do we prevent long seasons of loneliness even in the context of a marriage? That’s a great question and I think there are a lot of great answers available. From books like “The Five Love Languages,” to conversations with people who know and love us, there are a lot of ways to work at protecting a marriage. One way that I’ve benefited from over the years is really simple. Here’s my secret:

“Do things together.”

I know, that probably won’t become a book or even a bumper sticker, but here’s what I mean. My wife and I make a deliberate point to do things together. Small things, big things, medium things, everything can be an opportunity to connect if you look at it the right way. Even an annual seminar.

In a few weeks I’ll go to the annual Chick-fil-A seminar. It’s a chance for operators and employees from around the country to come together as one. To learn and grow and be renewed for the coming year. It’s in Washington, D.C. this year. Can you guess who will be joining me? My wife.

She’s coming too. She might not be an official Chick-fil-A employee, but that doesn’t matter. Rather than go experience an amazing few days with folks like Andy Stanley by myself, rather than have a once in a life moment that I try to tell my wife about when I get home, I’m taking her with me. And it’s not just me. It’s part of our company policy. Spouses are invited to attend our annual seminar. It’s a part of the “do things together” approach. And it works for us.

Is that the only thing you should do? Not at all. Will it magically change your marriage? Nope. But it is something small and easy you can do right now. Starting today you can look at your week and find new connection moments. New opportunities to share experiences. Whether it’s going grocery shopping or a night out to dinner, it’s never too late to start doing things together.

As I look on their marriage and the marriages around me, I am struck by a simple truth – Love is hard. I wish it was rainbows and sunny days all the time, but it’s just not. And one of the hardest things about love is that to experience it, you have to be willing to experience grief.

You don’t get to hand pick the things you want to open your heart to and the things you want to keep out. To open your heart to love is to open your heart to wide range of emotional experiences. To surrender your heart to love is to surrender your heart to a world of feelings and situations. One of which, is grief.

I forget this principle sometimes. I forget that to love wholly is to wholly experience grief at other times, but it is true. At funerals, you see this. The men and women that had the greatest impact, often leave behind friends and family members that know the greatest grief. For a time, the vulnerability of loving that person who passed away is replaced by a deep sense of grief.

That’s part of love. A willingness to know that grief will come. A bravery to face it honestly and openly. A patience to give yourself the time to work through it. A courage to admit to friends that you need a shoulder or an ear.

The great news, in this truth, in this principle, is that love wins. With God, grief does not have the final word. Grief is not given the last statement on any situation. Clouds part, light returns and with it, comes love.

Fortunately, people like Franklin Graham are changing all of that. In addition to being a good friend of mine, Franklin leads a ministry organization called “Samaritan’s Purse.” Internationally known for their aid efforts, Samaritan’s Purse is helping lead the relief effort.

Click here to get involved with the work they are doing right now to help the tens of thousands of people who have been impacted.

The thoughts and prayers of the entire Chick-fil-A family go out to the great nation of Haiti.