Being a Contagious Parent
The word “legacy” is a popular idea to put in business books. When applied to corporations and companies, it speaks to our ability to shape a culture that extends and grows beyond our presence there. It speaks to the opportunity to start something that is continued long after you’ve retired. And it’s a good idea that often motivates some smart business decisions since it reframes our thinking from short term, to long term.
But how does the word “legacy” apply to our families? How does that word apply to our relationships with our kids? What does it mean to create a legacy in the context of being a mom or a dad?
I thought about that as I sat across the desk from a young man who wanted to work at Chick-fil-A. He was a great candidate but something puzzled me. I knew his father was a very successful lawyer and I was confused at why this young man didn’t want to follow in his footsteps. So I asked him, and his answer was very telling. “My dad was never around for our family. He missed every game or event I had as a kid. I would never do that to my family. I would never be absent like that.”
The legacy he was given was certainly not the one his father intended. Hard work, determination, perseverance. Those are probably the words his dad would have liked to pass on to his son, but somehow things got tangled up. Somehow, the things he passed on instead made his son yearn for a career different than his dad’s.
I think this kind of thing often happens because as parents we don’t take the time to think about being “contagious.” I know that’s an odd word, but it’s the one I think fits the best. As a parent, I think part of our job is to be contagious and infect our kids with the best of what we’re capable of. The joy, the hope, the hard work, the trust in the Lord. We’ve got so many wonderful things to hand down to our kids. But when we get distracted, when we lose our focus, we might end up being shocked what they’ve picked up from the way we live our lives.
Today’s resolution, the thing I’m going to think about, is how I’m being contagious for my kids? What kind of legacy am I leaving for them?
Is it the one I think it is, or like that father, would I be surprised to hear what they would say I’ve passed on?
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Wow. Excellent post.
As a mother of 3 children, it’s my daily prayer that my character and love for the Lord would impress and impact my children more than any of my fleeting successes.
Thank you so much for the reminder.
Excellent, excellent article. Thanks Dan for being a great example of personal and professional balance. Its always refreshing to come to the website for a word of wisdom.
I was lucky!! My father missed two games my entire sports playing career. But the real reason I was lucky can be found in Deuteronomy chapter 6:4-9, It’s the Three Essentials for a Christian Home. Our duty or legacy is to teach our children about the grace of our lord and savior Jesus Christ! How are you doing? My father was awesome! I hope I am making the same impact on my children!!
it was such an honor and Blessing to meet you today at the Grand Opening of the Ponte Vedra location. I was sitting at the booth with two of my three children (#3 was in the play area) you signed the poster above us and asked if I read the
Bible and told me why you add Ephesians to the bottom of your signature. You are such an Amazing witness for our Heavenly Father. May you and your family continue to be blessed! We are so happy that Chick-fil-a is now less than a mile from our home!!!
I agree 100%! I’m working on being a better ME because of my daughter. I know she’s watching me and I’m the first face of womanhood for her. I do my best to give her the lifeskills she’ll need in life. She’s only two but she’s definitely a litte sponge! Thanks Dan!
“Contagious” definitely fits the bill for what a parent should be. Unfortunately, it seems to work for both the positive and negative. I’ve seen some incredibly contagious parents who infected their children with anything but upstanding morals. I would say in those cases, at least the person you refer to in your post had a father who provided. Sometimes, we forget or we just don’t realize in the first place and if no one is there to snap us out of it, we will persevere only in what our minds are set to.
That said, children should always be the priority. The desire to love a child and see them grow in a positive direction because of your guidance; what could be more rewarding?
Continue the inspiration, Dan. It is much appreciated. =)
PS – Loved the spicy chicken sandwich I had today! Great promo and well-executed. Best of luck on sales with it!